Age rings in the navel

Oh, these young people! They closed in his room, sitting for hours on the Internet and generally behave with their parents as if they were aliens. In the 12-year impulsive debater impossible to know the former compliant 10-year-old child, with whom it was so easy. What happens?

This is the beginning of adolescence, when hormones are so important to view their peers. Adolescents are not adults, but not small children.

Transition age makes parents bitterly regret that their child is not attached instruction manual. How to survive this time - from 11 to 14 years? This age sitting in chat rooms and navel rings in? How to rediscover how to communicate with the child, who always was there, but suddenly began to turn into an adult?

Dealing with teenagers sometimes difficult. They are vulnerable and the bayonet perceive any criticism from the parents - even the most innocuous. At the same time they themselves criticize any expression of adults. In short, parents and children during this period speak different languages.

Let's talk, Mom?

How to talk to a teenager? Here are some practical recommendations.

Important:

* Pay attention to him. Turn off the TV, put down the paper and completely switch to the child. Give him a chance to speak until the end before they begin to argue.
* Look, he says. In other words, pay attention to his nonverbal behavior: facial expression, posture and intonation. For example, the word "Super!", Depending on how it is uttered, may also indicate a high degree of admiration and quite the opposite.
* Make sure that the point of view of adolescent understood correctly before to voice their own opinions or give advice. Do not make assumptions.
* Use active listening. Periodically loud summarizes what is behind the words of a teenager. Here's an example. Teenager (tearfully): "The teacher on the history of unfair. She hates me and always comes over to me. I'll stay for the second year. " Parent: "You hurt, you're not sure of themselves. Instead, adults often say: "No, the teacher does not hate you. You just need to do more, and you'll be best in class ".
* Stick to the topic. Teens - masters divert the conversation away. It looks approximately as follows. Parent: "Go to your room and move in the room. The teenager answered: "Why are you such a bad mood?".

Should:

* Talking patronizing tone.
* Arrange interviews. ( "How much did you come to Anna?" Who else was there? "What did you do?" And her brother was there? "And what did you do then?")
* Teach. ( "When I was your age ....")
* Prove that the adults are always right. Teens acutely aware of their dependence and often enter into verbal fights with her parents for the right to vote.
* Pester with tips like: "I would be in your place ..." in response to any replica of the child.
* Read morality.
* Ridiculing, called names, make disparaging and derogatory comments.
* Find fault.

Try as much as possible to participate in the life of the child.

Participate in children's lives

Many parents mistakenly have a policy of non-interference and detached watched as children get older. Adolescence requires the highest attention. Parents should be aware of all aspects of life of a teenager, to get acquainted with his friends and their parents know where he is, what makes the school and is doing in your spare time.

Only an open discussion would help to know that a teenager is thinking about the experiments with alcohol or sex, and prepare it for physical and emotional changes, with whom he will inevitably face as they grow older.

Set framework

Teenagers, it is important to know the limits of their independence, but to acquire their own life experience. Only this can instill in them a sense of independence and self-esteem.

Of course, in cases where there is a real threat to life and health (eg, drug use), or a teenager can not do at their discretion, parents should hold their line and warn him of the possible consequences. For example, in punishment for what a teenager interrupts adults during a telephone conversation, you can then keep at bay the entire day to his unit. The main thing - an act, not threaten in vain.

If, despite all efforts by the parents, the teenager is still worried, should not take it personally.

Adolescents engage in polemics on any subject, but this does not mean that they hate their parents or see them as bad. Irritation is not directed at anyone personally. It's just a struggle for territory.

If these methods do not help, try with the child to turn to marriage counseling.
Rx Kentucky